I'm the laziest human being you will ever meet. I like eating, sleeping, and pretty girls. Sometimes I like eating pretty girls.
(Source: mindycollette, via superkappa)
(via aboutskins)
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Interviewer: Did you care about being popular in High School?
“I know you, Naomi. I know you’re lonely. I think you need someone to want you… Well, I do want you. So, be brave and want me back…”
Kaya Scodelario | Chanel Presentation at Paris Fashion Week (03.06.12)
Chelsea Peretti on Tosh.0
(via jaimeshanice)
slaygal replied to your photoset
THE LOOK ON HER FACE AFTER HE SAYS IT IS PURE LULZ. ALSO WHEN HE SAID HOW MUCH TIGHTER THE FAMILY IS ESPECIALLY W/ HER GONE. OH HENRY
“U R a liar and a sociopath!!”
Siobhan: D:
“Who the hell even knows if those babiez are mine!”
Siobhan: HDU! D: D: I would never sleep with another man. Ever. Ever. ….Unless I needed to use him for a scheme. Or engaged in intercourse with my real husband, who is not you, b t w.
~*~Flashback~*~
“R u worried your husband is nat father?”
“I’m worried he is…” DUN DUN DUN
!!SPOILER!!: The baby daddy is really Andrew. For one of the twins. The other twin’s father is Bodaway Macawi. None for you Henry. Bye.
agentkikirogers replied to your post: favorite buffy episode?
I freaking LOVE Beer Bad. So much hate on the episode but it has hilarious lines. “Xander: Au contraire, mon frère. Buffy: Mon frère means brother. Xander: Mon girl-frère.
My personal favorite is “NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS!”
(Source: formerlyabsoluteares, via flukeskin)
